Forgiving the Unforgivable

“I think I made a mistake” are not the words a bride imagines hearing from her groom on their honeymoon. Yet there I was, in a foreign country sitting next to my new husband who finally gave into my question, “what’s wrong?”. He continues and details emerge that flip my world upside down and crush me to my core. I felt lost on so many levels.

Against all odds, in another month we will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary. Our society, even our own family told us we could not overcome our beginning, yet here we are. Time has gone quickly in some ways, other ways… not so much. It is still difficult for us to converse about our beginning. It’s not a heartwarming story, but it did make us into the couple we are today. Unforgiveness in our relationship is like one of those little ankle biting dogs nipping at your feet.

I have learned through these years forgiveness is an action, not a feeling. Just like love, you have to choose it. Some days it will be the easiest thing to do. Others it will be suffocating and impossible. Which it is -when you remove God from the equation. However with Him, love has no bounds and forgiveness can be obtained against the unspeakable. Matthew 19:26 “…With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” How I clung to this verse 13 years ago…

When broken down in its simplicity, it’s a choice you have to make: To obey God – or not. His commands are clear (Matthew 6:15, Luke 6:37). We are told to forgive as our Father forgives us. Our greatest command is to love our God with all our heart, mind and soul. We cannot love without forgiving and you cannot forgive without love.

I recognize unforgiveness now for what it is; believing a fallacy that I am undeserving of forgiveness. Though it may resonate I am undeserving, the cost of my sin and your sin has already been paid. I do not sit on the throne of judgement, my God does. He has forgiven me, with his Son’s blood I am as white as snow – that is the truth. He promised us a Messiah to die for our sins and He delivered that promise so there can be no separation from us. Set your internal compass to His word is the truth and you will find the strength and courage to forgive.

Dare to hope for the impossible. Experience the peace. Whether you are forgiving someone else or yourself, accepting God’s truth leads to heights of an amazing mountaintop! I promise, the view is well worth the journey.