Not my will, but Your Will be Done

It is not easy to surrender.

In our society, those who surrender are sometimes viewed as weak. Could it really be more though?

Just like the next person, I enjoy when I am in control of my plans and sprinting toward my goals. There really is no need for me to pause and reflect if this is what is best, because I know what I want. But what if I am wrong about what is best?

To pause in this moment, surrender takes on a whole new meaning. Even more importantly who are you surrendering too? I believe it takes more courage to surrender to God than to be coerced by our fears which thrust us to selfishly control our lives.

Surrendering to God checks our selfish tendencies. Of course no one likes to admit that, just typing it here makes me cringe. But if I were to be honest, I am selfish at times when I am not submitting my thoughts to His. When I give enough time to my selfish thoughts, my actions will soon ensue.

Like when my husband hurts my feelings and I will not forgive him, I am being selfish.

I am being selfish when I know there is a friend or family member going through a difficult time and I offer nothing but empty words.

Knowing a past hurt has become a fear that jeopardizes my future if I choose not to work through the healing of it, I am being selfish.

Focusing my time and attention on anything (including my family) more than God is selfish.

Bulldozing my own wants through these opportunities to surrender to a higher plan robs me of a deeper joy. I may feel justified, my pride is hurt and some will even go along with my selfish response, but the reality is I am only separating myself from the one who knows what is really best for me.

So I am compelled to look at what it means to be surrendered. Here I face a conundrum; the last thing I want is to be more vulnerable and relinquish my control when I am hurting. However, I am learning that resigning my will to God’s will is what is needed to truly find what is necessary for my heart.

Back in the real world, this all looks confusing to apply into life. This fork in the road is disguised well by our enemy, we react to hurt with bitterness, anger and a whole host attributes opposite of what God has in store for us. Or we take a road that is hard to see and even harder to navigate and forgive a spouse even when they not ask for forgiveness or do not see how they hurt you. You decide to forgive anyways as you are instructed to do, because you have been forgiven yourself.

I know, I too said “BUT…..”

But nothing.

Love conquers all. Obey loves commands in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” There is no “but” in this passage teaching us how to love. Learn to love like this and you can escape deaths grip on your heart.

When there is crisis in someone’s life, do I allow myself to walk beside them so they do not feel alone? Yes, because how more rewarding is it when we apply in our busy lives the verse in 2 Corinthians 1:4b, “that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”. Showing Jesus Christ love in someone’s dark time can be a beacon of hope. What a beautiful way to love someone than by sacrificing our time.

For quite some time I was chained by a fear that was robbing me from a promised future of peace and hope. I did not like where I was heading. I was weighted by anxiety, but I knew I could change the course of my life because I believe in the promise all things are possible with God. So I choose to change my direction and turn around toward my promised future.

I wish it was just as easy as it sounds, but like anything worth having you have to work for it. The wound inflicted was deep. It was tucked beside some big heart’s desires and it required a painful healing process that I was in denial for years about. Lots of dead layers needed to be removed to access the very raw wound in my heart. Through God’s grace, Jesus Christ’s love and the Holy Spirit’s comfort my life was rebirthed. I am walking through my promised life even though it looks quite different than what my plan was. That journey was long and arduous, but throughout that season I have experienced beautiful encounters with God. I may have not been eager to start it, however along the way I wanted more of this difficult journey because it was bringing me closer to Jesus and His plan for me.

We all our given the key to our happiness and we can have it in any circumstances as Apostle Paul speaks about while in prison. I do not believe it is coincidence that Paul addresses this kind of contentment where he did because that is what fear entombs us in, our own personal prison.

Not surprisingly, none of this is possible if we are not willing to put our relationship with God as our first priority. If our career, our spouse, or even our children come first we deprive ourselves from the best plan for our life. A plan not to harm us, rather prosper us and give us hope and a future as declared in Jeremiah 29. Our Heavenly Daddy has the best plans for us and wants to give us what we so desperately need. However, it is our choice to accept His gift.

We are invited to receive a precious gift and with that gift are promises and conditions. Pride will lie to us that a gift should not have conditions, but wisdom reminds us this gift was paid with a heavy price. Jesus was surrendered and shed his blood on the cross for our sins so we may have eternal life with our Heavenly Father. By this choice, we are commanded in Matthew 22:37-39 to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

I am not sure we are even capable to understand the true significance of surrender like our Lord had done when He allowed His son to be hung on Calvary’s cross. His very being was surrendered for us who have a choice of everlasting life. I believe the only One who created love can truly understand its depths. However, we can experience degrees of His love by loving as He has taught us.

Imagine what your life would look like if you paused every time you made a decision and decided to surrender to His love? To die to our selfish desire and put Him first and then another. How courageous would that be? It may not look at all how you envisioned, but that is a blessed life my friend.

Surrendered; let it not be my will, but may God’s will be done!